she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
