Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
