Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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