so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
