she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
