I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
