Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize