Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
i think we sleep fucked last night...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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