I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
