Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
