She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
