girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
and she was petting her beer can
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
