Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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