We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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