things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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