The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
