Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
