u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
