Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
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