I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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