Your face is a jimmy john
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I stole a fireplace last night.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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