His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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