She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
