I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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