i may or may not be watching the land before time
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
