Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
