I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
