he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
