I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
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