she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Your cock deserves a montage
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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