i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
