having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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