Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize