its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
