Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
