im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
