his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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