I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
There's always time for handjobs
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
