i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize