The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
