I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
