You can't motorboat a personality
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
