you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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