Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
