you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
