you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize