I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
