Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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