i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
