the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
