eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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