So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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