What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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