Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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