i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
my shit smells like andre
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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