i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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