Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
