I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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