Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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