i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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