my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i may or may not be watching the land before time
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
