I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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