it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
