So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
