Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
